So many LGBTQ+ adults are met with judgment from the outside world and from themselves. In a heteronormative society, being anything seen as “other” can be so hurtful and invalidating, and, oftentimes, we beat ourselves up even more because of it. It can be difficult to remain proud of who you are when you have assumptions coming at you at all times, and no one should have to spend their life educating ignorant people about their identity.
We’re here to remind you that you are not wrong for being you!
Fear, shame, and guilt are all tools used to control people. Whether they stem from culture, religion, politics, or feelings, it is never okay for someone to make you feel like your identity isn’t valid. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, but no one has the right to force their beliefs onto someone else. Using these feelings to control others has created systems of oppression all over the world designed to force the LGBTQ+ community into silence.
You deserve to live your life without fear, shame, or guilt.
If you are someone who doesn’t feel safe to be who they are, know that you deserve to be loved exactly as you are. You are worthy of the life and relationships of your dreams. You are worthy of unconditional love. Anyone who tries to make you feel like you aren’t has most likely fallen victim to fear, shame, and guilt themselves.
For some, escaping this oppression means leaving their household. For others, it means leaving their country. For so many LGBTQ+ adults, living their lives as they are means leaving their families behind in favor of a chosen family, and that is completely okay to do.
Love is what makes a family, not blood.
If your blood relatives are supportive of who you are, take a moment of gratitude, as that is such a special thing to have.
While we never want to encourage anyone to put themselves in a situation where they may be in danger, if you have the privilege of living in an area where it is safe to be who you are, we implore you to speak out so that others can have that right, too.
If you aren’t ready for that, it’s okay!
Everyone is on their own path to self discovery, and doing the internal work to love and accept yourself as you are is just as important as advocating for others to accept the LGBTQ+ community. Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come, and know that your life is yours, and that the community is ready for you whenever you are ready for us.
Read through this list of affirmations from the Pivotal Counseling Center to help you when you may not feel confident being your most authentic self. Saying these either in your head or out loud when things get difficult to manage is an amazing way to bolster your self-esteem and remind yourself that you are worthy of everything you dream of.
- It is a joy to get to know the true me.
- It is a privilege to get to know the true me.
- My life has meaning beyond what others think of me.
- The people who deserve to love me will be excited to accept the real me.
- I deserve love without conditions.
- I will give myself love without conditions.
- I am queer enough.
- Others discomfort with who I am says more about them than it does about me.
- I am the expert when it comes to my own experience and identity.
- I deserve to take up space.
- I deserve to be listened to.
- My body is my home and I will treat it with care.
- I find comfort and freedom in my fluidity.
- I don’t need others to understand me to understand myself.
- I am glad I’m here.
- Others are glad I’m here.
- My queerness has empowered me to explore & get to know myself better than I ever have.
- I will be patient with myself as I learn to accept my own love without conditions.
Even beyond the self-acceptance journey around your LGBTQ+ identity, there are certain limiting beliefs, lingering people-pleasing habits, disconnection from vulnerability that could be preventing you from having the relationships and life you truly want.
Truth is, many of our clients come to us WAY after the “coming out” process because all of the years of repressing their identity has led them to being chronic people-pleasers, neglecting their own needs and ultimately, creating a life that is more comfortable to everyone else instead of themselves.
As LGTBQ+ life coaches and somatic healers, we will show you how to tune into your needs, and break the cycle of people-pleasing through mind-body connection. Our approach is multidimensional, using tools and modalities to release trapped negative emotions and limiting beliefs holding you back from living freely. You will learn how to set boundaries and stand up for yourself so that you can live more confidently and create deeply fulfilling relationships.
Dani & Keely
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Visit our website for all of the Queer Happiness Collective membership, LGBTQ+ Conversation Cards, and more!