The Truth About Love Bombing (LGBTQ+ Relationships)

The Truth About Love Bombing (LGBTQ+ Relationships)

TW: Relational Abuse

When you’ve just met someone, it’s natural to get carried away by your feelings for them and excitement for the future of the relationship. Sometimes, you’ll meet someone who shows you that they care like no one else has. They take you to nice dinners, buy you gifts, shower you with compliments, and you spend every moment together growing closer. It’s fun to be swept off your feet!

These kinds of behaviors are normal in the beginning stages of a relationship, but, when it becomes excessive or comes with strings attached, you enter into the realm of love bombing.

What is love bombing?

Chitra Raghavan, a professor of psychology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, explained love bombing to The New York Times like this,

“One partner, typically male but not exclusively, showers the other person with attention, affection, compliments, flattery, and essentially creates this context where [the other person] feels like [they’ve] met [their] soul mate and it’s effortless…The reality is, the person who is doing the love bombing is creating or manipulating the environment to look like he’s the perfect or she’s the perfect mate.”

Love bombing is a manipulation tactic ultimately used to isolate a person from everyone else in their life in the hopes of controlling them. When a narcissistic person love bombs their potential partner, they seek to become the only source of affection in their partner’s life. When done with this intent, whether knowingly or not, love bombing is a form of abuse.

LGBTQ+ Abuse

In our heteronormative society, most education that people receive regarding abuse is through a heterosexual lens. Even the expert, quoted above, states that abusers are, “typically male, but not exclusively,” and references the hypothetical partner as, “she,” in the original statement.

The signs of abuse in romantic relationships are ingrained in all of us through a heterosexual lens, and healthy LGBTQ+ relationships are rarely modeled for LGBTQ+ adolescents in real life or in the media.

1 in 4 LGBTQ+ people experience abuse in romantic relationships, but it’s rarely addressed.

LGBTQ+ adults don’t want to speak out against their abusive partners, not wanting to give any confirmation to the homophobic idea that LGBTQ+ relationships can never be healthy. They don’t want to make the queer community look bad and set back the LGBTQ+ rights movement, so they remain in denial that they are being abused.

Here is the hard truth: you can experience abuse in a romantic relationship, or be an abuser, no matter what your sexual orientation or gender identity is.

Love bombing is a very serious matter, and should not be taken lightly. Your partner should treat you with respect, and doing nice things for you is part of that. However, if it ever grows to an excessive level, leading you to isolate yourself from family and friends in favor of spending time with them, it’s an issue that can turn into a huge problem.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

A healthy relationship isn’t one-sided. Both parties should give and take, paying attention to the other person’s needs just as much as your own. Healthy relationships involve honesty, respect, compromise, and communication between two independent people choosing to come together. In a healthy relationship, you can be yourself without fear, and love never comes with strings attached.

We help LGBTQ+ adults create the healthy life and relationships of their dreams by giving them the tools they need to put their happiness first and seek partnerships that are aligned with our signature PRIDE Method Framework. Click here to start your future today!

With Love,

Dani & Keely


Abuse within the LGBTQ+ community is a serious issue, and we seek to raise awareness of this matter through content like this. If you or someone you know is in an abusive LGBTQ+ relationship, we encourage you to reach out to one of the organizations listed below.

Love is Respect  Hotline: 1–866–331–99474 (24/7) or Text “loveis” to 22522

LGBT National Help Center  Hotline: 1–800–246-PRIDE (1–800–246–7743) or chat online:

The Anti-Violence Project  24 hour bilingual hotline: (212)-714–1124

FORGE — Assists transgender and gender nonconforming survivors of domestic and sexual violence.

The Network La Red — serves LGBTQ, poly, and kink/BDSM survivors of abuse. Bilingual hotline: 617–742–4911

Northwest Network — For LGBT survivors of abuse. Hotline: 206–568–7777

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Visit our website for all of the Queer Happiness Collective membership, LGBTQ+ Conversation Cards, and more!

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