Are You a Hopeless Romantic or Just Desperate to be Loved?

Are You a Hopeless Romantic or Just Desperate to be Loved?

Do you believe in destiny? Is your favorite movie genre romantic comedies? Do you believe that love conquers all? Will your life be perfect once you find The One? If you answered, “yes,” to those questions, you may be a hopeless romantic.

There’s nothing wrong with being optimistic when it comes to love. The idea of a happy, fulfilling relationship is something that fills most people with butterflies, but there is a line between optimism and ignoring red flags because you’re in love with the idea of love.

That line is the difference between a hopeless romantic and desperation, and it’s oftentimes very blurry.

Unfortunately, the endless optimism of hopeless romantics can blind them when they step into the area of desperation. We’ve been there…we completely understand.

The rose-colored glasses of “love” leave them ignoring the signs that their partner may not be the best person for them and putting their own needs aside to fit into their romanticized idea of what love should look like. This is a huge problem, as it leads to patterns of people-pleasing, silencing their truth, and letting serious issues go by the wayside — all to check off a partner from their “to-do” list! Hello, high-achievers, we’re talking to you!

Hopeless romantics can be so wrapped up in the idea of having someone love them that they get themselves into difficult situations. The LGBTQ+ stereotype of “UHauling” is oftentimes an irresponsible response to desperation and the idea that this person has to be The One because you’re scared that you may not find anyone else.

Desperation breeds toxicity, and a relationship that lasts can’t be toxic.

One thing that even the most grounded hopeless romantics have in common with the desperate is this: the idea that being in a relationship will make your life better. The truth is, the only way to make your life better is to prioritize your own happiness and seek out a relationship that not only meets your needs but is based in reality rather than a romantic comedy fantasy.

Our hope for the Coming Out Happy Community is that you can put aside both of these approaches to love and embrace the identity of the Hopeful Romantic.

A Hopeful Romantic is someone that holds onto the magic of romanticism while staying grounded in the knowledge that relationships are a two-way street, your partner is not perfect, and that destiny may have brought you together, but it takes deep inner healing work to create the foundation in yourself to be able to have healthy relationships. To be a Hopeful Romantic, you have to see reality and recognize that it’s okay to get caught up in the thrill of new love, but you have to actually know the other person before you can call them The One.

Becoming a Hopeful Romantic starts with you. You have to release your unrealistic expectations of love and accept that real life won’t be like a romantic comedy all of the time. You have to put yourself first in your relationships and make your needs a priority. Most importantly, you have to stop people-pleasing and learn how to work through why you’re ignoring red flags or the cycle will continue on!

As LGTBQ+ life coaches and somatic healers, we will show you how to tune into your needs, and break the cycle of people-pleasing through mind-body connection. Our approach is multidimensional, using tools and modalities to release trapped negative emotions and limiting beliefs holding you back from living freely. You will learn how to set boundaries and stand up for yourself so that you can live more confidently and create deeply fulfilling relationships.

Are you ready to change your life and relationships for good?

With Love,

Dani & Keely

Have questions for us? Be sure to send us a DM on IG here!

Visit our website for all of the Queer Happiness Collective membership, LGBTQ+ Conversation Cards, and more!

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